Social Distancing Diaries: Day 58

Dear Diary

Mother’s Day Edition

*Not shown* Kid 3: “Proofread my paper on Wha Wha Wha What What” Kid 4: “What if this happens? But what if this doesn’t happen? Mom! Why aren’t you as upset about this as I am??”

What a Mother’s Day filled with laughter! It really was a great day. I’m often out of town on Mother’s Day. For years it was a tradition for my mom and I to travel to Pittsburgh to run the Komen Race for the Cure. It was always a fun 24 hour get-away for us. So actually being with my family on Mother’s Day is kind of a new thing. Of course, the only think I wanted was for all my children to get along. For the most part, they did. They all made an Instagram Mother’s Day “thing” where they described me in GIFs. That was good for a laugh. And Lily whipped up a super sweet video for me. It’s on my Facebook page if you haven’t seen it. Our church had solicited pictures and tributes to honor our mothers for Mother’s Day and I guess no one told my kids about it. So as we were watching it during the service this morning they felt overwhelmed with guilt. Thus they were prompted to create an impressive video!  Lily also wanted to make supper for me. Maybe it’s because I kept asking the family what they were making for supper. Not sure if there’s a connection there… She found a frittata recipe for which we had all the ingredients. With a little supervision (but she did it herself!) she made a delicious frittata! Bonus points for using up the leftover potatoes that I made Ellen cut up a few days ago!

Yes, it tasted as good as it looks.

Here’s where I say all the mushy gushy things about being a mom. First, I’d like to acknowledge all the women who desperately want to be moms and it hasn’t happened. God sees you. If you are a daughter but your mom isn’t here any longer, or you have no relationship with her, God sees you too. For those who are moms but the world doesn’t acknowledge it, God sees you. We lost our first baby, Elise, when she was born at 23 weeks. She lived for 8 days. The first Mother’s Day after her death was the hardest “holiday” ever. Our church acknowledged mothers by having them stand. I’ll never forget that moment. It was so hard to stand and yet I was a mother but I had no child. I’m so grateful for our friends who understood our grief and supported us through it. If you’re a mom and your child is not here or is estranged from you, God sees you. I’m grateful that God saw fit to fill my arms with children. I do my share of grumbling about lack of time alone and always having someone hanging off of me, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m human and I’m flawed and I don’t love perfectly. But being a mom has taught me the depths of despair and the depths of grace. I’m constantly amazed by each of my daughters. I’m awed that I get to be their mom. They are funny, smart, compassionate, empathetic, passionate, insightful, discerning, creative, and so much more. I look forward to walking through life with them. And I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with Elise.