Social Distancing Diaries: Day 67

Dear Diary

The Bizarro Edition

The day literally began with Eden announcing to everyone (individually as we woke up, or while we still slept) that today was the day that Hayley would cut her hair! To say she was excited to get her hair cut is to put it mildly. Hayley armed herself with YouTube videos, scissors and comb. Two hours later, Eden was thrilled with the outcome. Hallelujah! There was great rejoicing in the land.

This picture totally cracks me up. That’s my “Ellen-will-you-run-my-Instagram” face. And that’s Ellen’s “naw-mom-i-really-don’t-want-to-do-that” face. And Hayley’s “you-seriously-didn’t-know-how-to-do-that-??” face.

This morning Ellen and I watched a local news show because they were announcing the winners of the Apollo Awards, south central PA’s version of the Academy Awards for high school theater. We had to endure commercials and un-newsworthy fluff (we hardly ever watch “real” tv anymore!). The cooking segment especially floored me. The woman literally browned some ground turkey and onion, mixed it with a jar of spaghetti sauce and put it on top of the spaghetti. That was the cooking lesson! Seriously? Do Americans not know how to do this?! At least our efforts were rewarded when our school won 2 awards—for Best Lead Actor and for Best Play! Go Donegal!!

Ellen and I spent some time this afternoon weeding flowerbeds for a friend. That prompted Ellen to declare she deserved an ice cream sundae from McDonald’s. I consented but she first had to call the McDonald’s and make sure their ice cream machine was functioning. It notoriously malfunctions. She called. Yes, it was functioning. We drove to McDonald’s and waited in the drive-through line until it was our turn. I ordered one hot fudge sundae. “I’m sorry, we are out of toppings. We don’t have hot fudge or caramel. I can offer you a plain sundae.” <pause> A PLAIN SUNDAE?! What even is that? It’s a cup of vanilla soft serve! There’s no such thing as a “plain sundae!” Note to self: When the craving for a McDonald’s sundae strikes, call and ask two questions—Is your ice cream machine working AND do you have any toppings! The back up plan was for a Frosty from Wendy’s. At the drive through I ordered one child size chocolate Frosty. I pulled up to the window and the woman handed me the Frosty and said “Thank you!” I said, don’t I have to pay for it? She said, “Don’t you have the key card?” which I understand to be a little bonus card you can keep on your keychain that apparently gets you a free child size Frosty when the mood strikes. No, I didn’t have the key card. She was flummoxed. Obviously no one drives up to Wendy’s to order only one child size Frosty with intention to pay for it. She waved me off. “Just go. Take it.” I wonder how many times I could get away with that.